This past Tuesday would have been mine and Larry's 9th wedding anniversary. I missed the poem he would have written. I missed his smile when he would look at me and tell me "Happy Anniversary, Darling". I missed the kiss. I missed the hug.
I have a hard time dealing with his passing when special dates roll around. Tomorrow, May 1st, will mark the first conversation we had online. He had such a "presence" online. A "bigger than life" presence. I knew he was special even then.
I haven't been to the cemetery. Not because I haven't wanted to go. Generally, it's been because of weather (we had a horrendous winter), or the lack of money. Besides, his presence is still here in our home. His pictures still hang on my walls. His clothes still hang in our closet. I still have a hard time packing away anything of his. I have done some packing, but I just can't bring myself to put away, give away, or throw out his "stuff" (his term), without breaking down. His greeting is still on his cell phone that I use now. At least I can still hear his voice.
God, I miss him so much! I have a lot of pictures of him on my Facebook page...http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1106200284&ref=profile.
I'll always love you, Larry. Always...
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