It's Time...

01:22PM -- I wanted everyone to know that Larry has - as of today - made the decision not to go back to dialysis. His hospice nurse, Alice, stopped by again today (she was here Friday afternoon and will be back tomorrow afternoon) and talked to him openly, answering his questions, so that he could make a final decision based on facts. Alice had talked to me Friday afternoon and told me that he may have 2 and at the most 4 weeks left. She stated that if he continues to dialyze, he would most likely have a heart attack during dialysis.

He dialyzed last Thursday. His dialysis cath will be flushed and made available to the hospice nurse and me in and effort to administer morphine and in the event of chest pain (heart failure) a chemical to ease the pain there.

Events leading up to this began last week.
• last Tuesday, he fell from the car (I caught him), bumping his head on the door. No marks, redness or anything, but the jolt aggravated the cancer and he suffered major pain. It took me and 3 dialysis techs/nurses to get him back into the car after dialysis to get him home. He was in horrendous pain. It took me almost 45 minutes and 5ml of dilaudid to get him out of the van and into his wheelchair to get him in the house. I then spent another hour+ trying to get him into bed from the wheelchair. He told me if the bus did not pick him up on Thursday, he was not going back...it wasn't worth the pain.
• I called on Wednesday and rushed the paperwork through and got him approved for the paratransit bus.
• Thursday the bus picked him up here at home and took him to dialysis. He was put into a larger chair and reclined during dialysis. When finished, they sat him up and he lost control of his bowels. He needed to be cleaned from waist to foot, removed all his soiled clothes and wore hospital scrubs home. The bus brought him home and I got him into bed.

He has not been out of bed since. He can only sit for 20-30 minutes at a time. His blood pressure and strength are dropping as well as his weight. Pressure sores, that will never heal per his hospice nurse, are extremely painful. We are doing all that we can to "cushion the areas" but any pressure affects them. His skin as become very brittle. His strength is acutely diminished and he's unable to sit up or roll over by himself now.

If you would like to speak to him, now is the time. His nephrologists have told us that within 1-2 weeks of stopping dialysis, he will slip into a coma. If his heart doesn't give out before then.

He requested a week ago to vote by absentee ballot. I got his and mine in the mail yesterday to complete (as a caregiver, I can do so too). I will have him complete his later this evening and mail them back tomorrow. At least he will do the one thing he so desperately wanted to do...vote.

I'm okay most of the time.